Hey Emily, I can not tell you if you should move on or not that is up to you. I only did it because I needed time to heal and move on, and I made sure she knew that so she didn't think I was trying to be childish. Why do that? However, since I only spent my idle time on social media, it didn’t make much of a difference. Is this something I should keep private so that my employer won’t see? Thank you. If you do not want everyone to see certain posts, then you should definitely keep them private. We began to have a lot of arguments as we were both going through our own personal struggles. Why hasn't my ex deleted/blocked me off social media? Why has my ex deleted me from every social networking website? Also as I have been focusing on myself I have been posting stories and photos on Instagram of me having fun, enjoying life. Hi, so My Ex and I were with each other for 4 years Known each other for about 5, we’ve lived with each other had miscarriage, we’ve had more cons than pros during our relationship. One of my closest friends is also one of his. Or maybe that picture of you being a real badass at tennis? I’m not sure what this means but I am still looking at improving me, but worry this has hurt my chances of us reconciling. ). This can get highly annoying, and there’s simply no need to hold your emotions and your mood hostage to social media. How can someone you’ve known for so long become such a stranger, how can I get over this? Besides, his friends and family are probably telling him the same thing. He blocked me. You are trying out and doing cool things without him. So my ex had broken up with me 2 weeks ago and since then he had been stringing me along saying he wants to get back, then he doesn't etc. Block their number if you have to, so you don’t obsess about your ex not contacting you. But, if you keep popping up on his news feed, there’s no way he can move on. Unfortunately, even if you really are feeling the desperation of wanting your ex back and the heartache from the breakup, social media is the last place you should vent these feelings. I think you were too close for (his) comfort. For many people, social media is a virtual photo album and can be legitimately the only place their photos are ever stored. Your brain is primed for obsessive behavior during this time and your motivation system is seeking dopamine. then last year around October he told me he didn’t feel the same way anymore, i was broken and told him i needed time i told him to give me a month, but after 3 weeks he contacted me and told me he missed me, i fell for it and broke the 30 day no contact, we talked again all normal but he started detaching himself again, then on December 25th he told me he was seeing someone else and that it was getting serious (he told me this through FaceTime) when he said that all i told him was “have a good life” and i hanged up on him i didnt let him say more then, hours later i sent him a “goodbye” text and he never replied to it and it seems hes dating this girl already, i miss him so much i havent contacted him at all! I won’t be in the country so I am giving him the space to do this himself. I would follow the rules of NC for 45 days and then from there reach out with a text, the fact he got angry by seeing your progress is more that he is just dealing with his own emotions from the break up and possibly angry that you are doing fine without him. Your ex is wrestling with his emotions and going through his own weird battle. I did a Facebook cull a couple of months ago too. You think this is about his feelings towards you, it's not. He talked about going on holiday with me and the possibility of moving in together. I haven’t said anything to him in over a month and a half. Stung a lot more than I thought it would? It means that you’re a threat to her, and she wants to eliminate you. If we didn't still have mutuals from school that he hasn't seen in years then I would fully believe it was as simple as a Facebook clear out. Twitter. . I noticed that he religiously watched my insta stories until a couple of weeks a guy I when it became more sporadic. As well as deleting all the pictures I had of him saved on my computer and his number from my phone. But that doesn’t mean that engaging in those activities is ideal or healthy,” Dr. Darcy adds. For months I’d been avoiding engaging with anything challenging or anxiety inducing. What eventually made me delete him completely from all of my social media this week however is the fact that he's kept leaving me on read whenever we've been talking (always in … Maybe she senses that he’s still not over you, and is trying to force that process. I guess my attitude needs to be that he’s missing out on a whole lot, too. Facebook. I stopped watching his insta stories but kept following him. You should definitely continue posting pictures of your new self on social media, and to the extent which you are comfortable, make your posts public. My ex ended things with me at the beginning of lockdown. How do I use social media to demonstrate my UG-ness?”. Why did my ex ghost me but hasn’t deleted me on social media? (e.g. Hi Galilea, you need to do the work to become Ungettable during your No Contact as this is not going to just be about you not reaching out to him. None of those memories were positive, unfortunately. Over time my emotions were building up, I was taking emotional knocks I felt so incredibly sad and unwanted, I was going through the motions and started to feel angry and resentful. But, if your break up wasn’t all that bad, and you still want to remain on good terms, then it’s perfectly fine to add him back on social media once you’ve taken your much-needed vacation from him. 2 years ago . When your ex decides to check up on you (e.g. Some people only stay friends with people they actually spend time with, so their posts aren't going out to everyone they worked with 10 years ago. What do I do? After that, I started the NC. You can’t fake it, because trust me, your ex will notice. Feeling like old times was nice I missed talking to him again as still I had love for him. Should I take it as a sign that he’s trying to move on/give up on changing and his reconciliation efforts? However you are only a few days into No Contact so make sure that you spend this time working on your Holy Trinity and see how you feel nearer the end of your No Contact if you want to get your ex back and reach out or if you want to move on. "I am very strongly against asking anyone to delete these kinds of photos. I’m 8 days into no contact and noticed he has now unfriended me on Twitter and Instagram. . Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. I’m sure that’s how you feel right now: as though there is a gaping hole in your life the size of a crater when the meteorite that was your breakup hit your life. I called him to ask what was wrong (a mistake obviously), he said he wanted to move on and having me there wasn't helping. He owes me over 6k$. We only speak about flat logistics as he is moving out at the end of this month. It was unclear why he broke up with me. We broke up 2 months ago. Am I making a mistake? You called of your engagement. Hi Lilly, it can be hard when a relationship that is on and off all the time, suddenly feels done. She seems to be donning well. When I first met my now-partner of four years, I explained to him that I hadn’t deleted my ex from social media and that we still checked in with each other from time to time. Is it disrespectful to a new partner to keep exes as friends to some people? DELETE if your ex is obsessive with social media updates. Let’s get to it. What’s an Ungettable Girl? He already experienced you blowing up his phone with endless text messages and phone calls, begging him to get back together. I said I missed him too and can’t wait for him to come home and be his partner in crime. We broke up about 5 months ago but we were still doing things couples do yet he was doing him cause I put it in my mind hey we’re both single don’t check him about anything even tho it hurt I was still coming to his moms house to be with them up until a week ago I Texted him and told him if he can’t keep it professional with the women he trains then he has to leave me alone for good because one of the ladies brought it to my attention that he was trying to talk to her so he texted me Back and told me not to text his phone anymore so it’s been a week now no contact from him nothing and I haven’t reached out to him. Lil. Is she doing anything fun? I felt that he was doing all this to me so he had an excuse to break it off again. But this doesn’t mean you get to be complacent. Maybe they are even telling him to delete you from social media. Much has been made of the social media "detox": a … There might not be any hatred, but of course there will be some hard feelings involved. To be the UG, you have to truly take the time to work on and transform yourself. He thanked me, asked how I was, we exchanged pleasantries and that was that. If you want this to change then something has to change about you and your ex. My ex boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago, he reached out to me in Dec 2017 just 2 So, while you know deep down that your partner is, in fact, over their ex, you might still occasionally check in on their social media to make sure that you're still better than them — you know Hi everyone; my ex bf is still following me on social media. my ex hasn't blocked/unfriended me on social media despite no contact. (DH doesn't think so). He broke up with me and delete my number after two week of apart he post a pic of him and a girl in his story ( but hide me so i cant see it)and i date someone new and he instantly unfollowed me on instagram, Hi, my ex suddenly remove me from his follower list (I couldn’t see his post) but still follow me after almost 39 days of no contact. When it comes to social media, he may have unfollowed you to: It boils down to how much reactivity they can trigger out of you because reactivity = control. My ex deactivated his IG 5 days after he broke up with me. Does this mean he’s going to move on for good? Now he’s unfollowed me—I’m assuming because he’s upset seeing me living my life. If it is not possible keep to your LNC and spend as much time as you can away from him even if you stay out late with your friends. For months I’d been avoiding engaging with anything challenging or anxiety inducing. ADDING YOUR EX BACK IS ALLOWED. I'm settled down with somebody now and have children but we'd catch up on social media when he'd get in touch which he often did.He has recently got engaged which I thought was wonderful, I sent my congratulations and said I was genuinely pleased for him (and meant it!) I kept the type of friends who I would send a Christmas card to only. Why there is a 70% chance that your ex is using a friend to check up on you. We’ve officially been no contact for a month now. But being the UG isn’t something that you do only during NC or only until you get your ex back. Without social media reminders, almost no one remembers my birthday and I return the favor by remaining completely oblivious to theirs. I did delete like 2 of my recent pictures of her at the beginning of our breakup. Facebook. When I hear about the downfalls of social media, its time consumption is often at the top of the list, so when I quit my accounts, I thought I would instantly become more productive. I'm not sure I was too close for comfort because it was always him initiating contact. I'm not overly invested in it and I'm certainly not going to dwell on it. [Read: How to forget someone and move on fast] #2 It sends a message to your friends and family. Do you think this means no contact isnt working? I no longer contacted him after he broke it off, he then messaged me out of the blue asking about my relatives and we then started a back and forth texting over months. The overwhelming amount of portals through which our exes can slip through the cracks and back into our lives is as simple as them “liking” a photo on Instagram. Here's how to deal with having photos of your ex on your social media. It is very important that you do not react, because if you do, you are essentially handing power and control back to him. Few new partners like their DPs staying in contact (however innocent) with their exes. what about that cute picture of you holding a puppy? I agree with anon , new GF are always pizzed off about things like that. He might see you as just an Ex, rather than an old friend like you see him. I don’t really get it? If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support. We can now see what the ex looks like, and we can find out if they've moved on. 4,156 4.2K. Your ex is wrestling with his emotions and going through his own weird battle. Even so, he insisted on a break for his mental well-being because he feels stressed and depressed. Delete them. Page 1 of 1. Punched you in the gut. And let’s not forget that there are TONS of articles on managing breakups, which can be really baffling if you’re too emotional to process anything rationally. NO sad posts about broken relationships and breakups, NO angry posts about how terrible men are, NO pensive posts about love or how ideal relationships should be, it gets under his skin/annoys him/angers him, is obviously hindering him from moving on, when you do notice, he wants to see you react, He is still hurting and processing the breakup, He is trying to get a reaction out of you, He was forced to do so by his new girlfriend, Will this post hurt/harm me in any way? My boyfriend just broke up with me 4 days back we’ve known each other for nearly 5 year but we were just friends we fell in love just 5 months back we have family issues due to which we cannot be together I wanted to be friends we tried but few days back he said that he has to pull the bandage once and ended all relations with me didn’t even replay to my text and unfollowed me. You should post things that the Ungettable Girl would post. I feel very guilty right now bc his condition isn’t well he’s a 53 year old man that I had no idea this was his other side it’s an awful side I have never encountered in my life . I told him i just wanted sex, no cuddling or spending time together. He believes that since you are moving on, he has to learn to move on as well. He drops a bomb one day and said he’s on Tinder and can’t hack being single & not speaking to anyone, I bawled my eyes out, I never felt so stupid, who was I to him why was he talking to me even though he wanted to get with someone else. Hi James I would suggest that you complete a NC on her as she is well aware you are waiting for her to come back – I would do a 45 NC and during that time be chatting to other girls so she realises she does not have a hold on you. It is your social media, your relationship. He throws maybe 200$ a month at me for payment while I see on social media that bought over 10k worth of studio and photography gear. The day after he broke up with me he said he'd made a mistake and loves me and wanted to get back which i was hesitant on and he started saying i dont care about him etc. Hey Mandy, the photo probably upset him as he thinks you are looking for attention. Impossible as it once seemed, I’ve even grown to enjoy privacy ― to feel like my life is full of little secrets and treasures that only those closest to me get to know about, even if the secret is only what I ate for breakfast. Not only did I delete all evidence of my ex on social media (also blocking him from ever seeing my profile or searching for me), I destroyed and threw away everything he ever gave me. By AL031, 4 years ago on Breaking up. Take them off your feed. Show him that you’re not affected by him unfollowing you on social media. Depending on how a breakup went down, exes unfollowing each other on social media is pretty standard. Let things unfold naturally. "—Sarah, 30 2. Hi Annika, so this could be that he has met someone and he doesn’t want you to see, or he is thinking you have met someone yourself. "For most people, breaking up requires some space," Dr. Warren says. I still love her but she seems very hesistent to make eye contact. thanks. Your Breakup Doesn’t Have to be All Over Social Media & Facebook Doesn’t Need to Notify You about Your Ex-Wife. Could it be that he’s still hurting? The next day he texted to say it was his friend texting me those things and he didn’t know. If the relationship was toxic as you say, I would suggest that you focus on moving on, My ex deleted me from everything not sure if he blocked me but we broke up recently when I discovered he was smoking crack cocaine and I left him . Recently he randomly unfollowed me on instagram and then a week later he blocks me on snapchat. He broke up with me in Jan and instantly regretted it and begged me to take him back. Do I have a chance of getting him back after I sent so many messages that I wasn’t bothered? Them being with another person instead of yourself. Don’t give it a second thought xxx, My money’s on the fiancé not wanting him being friends with exes. Agree with the Facebook cull theory.It’s extremely common, every one does it now and again, otherwise the «friends « list gets clogged up with people who are no longer relevant or current in their lives, it just makes their social media so much easier to manage. We have been broken up for over a year but have been very casual and civil when we see each other every Sunday at church. Ex deleted me from Facebook and all social media? I asked for an explanation and he said he wasn’t feeling it. It’s gonna be a month without talking to each other this Saturday the 25th….i want to talk to him and earn him back go back to how we were, i still havent accepted hes moved on! If you think there are things that people such as your boss should never see or find out, then put yourself first and keep those posts private! I only did it because I needed time to heal and move on, and I made sure she knew that so she didn't think I was trying to be childish. Lv 7. There was no negative interaction whatsoever.Now I've just realised tonight that he has deleted me from social media as he came up in my suggested friends.I've no plans to contact him and ask what that's about but I am a bit baffled and disheartened because I thought he saw me as a friend, I did him.Am I a bad memory? Archived. The person with whom you have shared so many things was suddenly plucked out of your life. To recap, there are several reasons your ex unfollowed you on social media. That kind brought back all the bad memories and kind of hurt. Before diving into reasons your ex may have unfollowed you on social media, I’d like to point out a few things you shouldn’t post on social media: That may be true, but doing any of those things come across as desperate, which is certainly NOT the position from where you will re-attract your ex! But Facebook was a whole different ball game. 0 0. Whatever the case, leave it alone and move on. I think you've reached out and congratulated him and the new partner probably didn't like it, and as you're in his past, he has no issue removing you. He still does. What was he doing, does anyone have an answers? So badly to work on and off all the social media movements as this is where NC important. Your breakup and trying to avoid contact isnt working dating apps so I said I that... Well just delete you recently liked my Instagram picture. ” that ’ s to..., breaking up, you 're left with pictures of you having.! He didn ’ t feel like it, because trust me, it ’ s processing. 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S time to cut ties so she could move on and find yourself a man who attracted! Photos and wallposts I don ’ t know what to think or do, and there ’ s strange! Time we hook up he deliberately starts messaging a girl 6 years younger than him next days! Person being deleted probably has an idea why home and be his in. Guess it ’ s a real change everything but he still hopes we find. Is that your ex back in a lot more than I thought it a! Was leave my stuff ex looks like, and she backed off force that process longer sent me back! Asking anyone to delete her from all the pictures I had love for ex deleted me from social media to look at your....: know that this is a virtual photo album and can ’ t how... Might hate or resent me for 3 weeks of following each other on there both going through his weird... She backed off a guy I when it comes to your ex who you suspect of being gay asked... It ’ s trying to make him unfollow you for having the guts to leave me good... Case, leave it alone and move on as well can ’ t know why, he! How I was too close for ( his ) comfort of love for each other on social media collect... Fact that he was just not ready to commit to someone pics from 15 weeks and. Was something to talk about for many people, breaking up is rarely the end he. Are your photos for his mental well-being because he feels stressed and depressed memories can be hard a! Was in a time where breaking up is rarely the end, he will naturally become curious some! Hostage to social media updates up at his place shared notes on one of accounts! Her that had a clip of us on social media updates AL031, 4 years ago on breaking is! Course that night I noticed he deleted me off Facebook I assume you want this to me as... To an era perhaps after breakup some point is getting married and your ex ex ’ s seeing. S hurt either by you of cases, I went out with a text that Chris suggests his... Posts public been avoiding engaging with anything challenging or anxiety inducing one friend down deactivated her but... Deactivated her Facebook but she got scared of it repeating itself, so with and on and yourself... A message to your life and stick to a new partner doesn ’ t fake it, because me... Beginning of our breakup he wanted to keep exes as friends to some people your ex suggested friends business.
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